The oddest thing happened though, on his 30th birthday, I found out that the most significant person in my life thus far was moving to Nashville the following day. We had not spoken in nearly a year and I heard this news from a third party. I had the most horrible gut wrenching moment and came home wondering whether to just cry it out or show up at his place completely unannounced. Showing up seemed like a completely irrational movie thing thing to do, but a dear friend made the decision for me and I went. I knocked on the wrong doors twice and was sure I was too late and he was already gone. I called her in a panic asking what to do, I had brought a pen and paper to leave a note if he wasn’t home but now I didn’t even know what the right apartment was. She told me to try one more floor. The second I arrived at what I hoped was his apartment for the third time I heard his voice on the phone inside. I must have stood outside for at least 15 minutes knocking with no answer and was ready to give up. I wrote my note. I stood there some more. I knocked again really loudly.

He opened the door.

I fell to pieces.

I didn’t know my purpose or what I hoped to accomplish but I knew that I would have hated myself and regretted it the rest of my life if I hadn’t gone. If there is anything I have learned this past year it’s that if an opportunity presents itself to you, you run with it.  There are just some people who stick with you forever, no matter what has happened. So while our entire relation with each other has essentially been a string of goodbyes, I don’t feel it will be the last.  We’ll both continue to love, live and experience life until one day we meet in the middle again.

I may be  left with a bittersweetness as I take off for the cottage this weekend, a place full of memories for both of us, but I am ready to make new ones.

I know we’ll all float on alright.

The great news is that this year I have air conditioning! I may have dropped it out the window when installing it, but it lived and does a pretty good job of cooling down my whole apartment. (An apartment whose lease is now up! New place in the fall? Maybe baby!) Now I don’t know if it’s the glorious coolness or simply the fact that I am in a much better, happier, healthier place then I was a year ago but I’ve been itching to cook lately. I made my first cheesecake for Bee’s birthday a few weeks ago, I had never made a cheesecake before but it turned out to be a hit. We’ve also taken up cooking dinner together every Sunday not only as a way to save on eating out but also because we think it’s a good thing for us to do as a couple. Mostly we just BBQ some chicken but a few times we got adventurous and made things like fish tacos. I’ve also just realized that my ice cream maker has been chilling in the freezer for A YEAR and has never been used.

Hello self? What the eff?

Ice. Cream. Or better yet, because it is probably a heck of a lot cheaper, less fatty and easier to make, sorbet.

That is my goal for this weekend. Buy ingredients. Make something fruity.

I’ve been up to a bunch of other things too though, like painting on canvas. I don’t really put much thought into it most of the time, I just throw some music on and go with my mood, but it seems to be working out for me. It’s a whole lot less crappy than I expected it to be anyways. I’m thinking that if I keep it up I might try submitting some work to the Steam Whistle gallery when they start taking them for next years lineup. (BTW if you are ever in Toronto on a weekend I recommend going to check it out – you get a free beer when you walk in!) I’ve also been reading a lot, have a photo shoot planned with my friend Lauren and have a fun business idea bouncing around with my friend Sean involving lasers and records.

Generally lots of awesome coming my way! I will try my best to keep you posted this time around!

I find it tricky sometimes finding books to read that I will enjoy and have a tendency to pick things out based on how well the cover is designed/whether it comes in hardcover or not. (I feel like they aren’t ‘real’ books unless they are hardcover.) So I think Bookseer is great. Plus the illustration makes me giggle. Equal parts creepy and awesome.

Neither am I.

Credits: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six